i was standing in the check-out line at the grocery store, minding my own business, when the pregnant clerk started talking to her co-worker.

 

checker:  [rubbing her 6 month pregnant belly]  man, i swear she’s trying to come out early.

 

bagger:  oh?  she’s been kicking a lot?

 

checker:  yes!  last night and all day today.  whew, i tell ya…

 

my huz: [hearing this exchange and likely seeing the look on my face, leaned over and whispered in my ear]  i love you sweetie.

 

(fyi, just remembering my husband’s thoughtfulness brings tears to my eyes…some times his tender love surprises me.)

 

me-thinking-in-my-head-in-the-moment:  leave me alone, huz! oh cry me a river, lady.  good.  i hope she does come out early.  then you’ll have a dead one, too…

 

now, while these kinds of horrible thoughts do flit through my mind on a regular basis when i see pregnant women, i promise, i really don’t mean them.

 

i feel like the worst person on the planet every time i wish pregnancy loss or infertility on another woman…but i’d be lying if i said i didn’t have these thoughts.  i do.  regularly.  then i feel like a jerk, remind myself that i don’t have any idea what that person has gone through to maintain her pregnancy, and think about what i’m really  feeling rather than wishing horrible wishes on others.  but it usually takes me a while to get there.

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