do you want the good news or the bad news first?  shall i tell the sweet before the bitter, so that the bitter doesn’t taste so bad?  or is it better to have the bitter first and chase it with the sweet???


i guess in the end bitter is bitter, not matter which way you slice it….but i do love the times when a tiny bit of sweetness is attached to a painful moment.


okay…get on with it!


the other day i was visiting my most favorite little girl in the world.  she’s just 2 1/2, but some days i swear she’s got the cognitive and emotional capacities of a 35 year old.  she amazes me.


her mom recently had her second baby, so little girl has been newly exposed to seeing her mom breastfeed and take care of baby girl.  naturally, little girl has found this feeding process to be fascinating…it’s just that it’d been a few weeks since i’d seen them all, so i wasn’t quite prepared…


(by the way, i’m going with the sweet first–clearly, the obvious choice in this instance.)


little girl:  [said in the sweetest, most endearing child-like voice you can imagine]  lilly?  do you have milk in your beep-beeps?


me:  [totally unprepared, mouth somewhat gaping, eyes widened, said to mother]  did she just ask me what i think she asked me?


mother:  [blushing]  yes, she did.


[here comes the bitter part]


me:  well, no, i don’t have any milk in my beep-beeps because i don’t have any babies, so i don’t need milk in my beep-beeps.


first, let me say, i’ve never in my life referred to my breasts as “beep-beeps”…but my family did have a bird named beep-beep when i was a kid.  i should tell that to little girl and watch her face as she tries to put that together….a bird-breast.


but for me, the sadness, the bitter part of the bittersweet, is that i would  have milk in my beep-beeps had our first, second or third pregnancies lasted…


that is such a bitter pill to swallow.