today would have been my mom’s 65th b-day.  still such a young age and yet she’s been gone three years already.


this morning huz asked me what i thought i might get for her birthday if she was still with us.  i thought for a minute (i love it when he asks me hypothetical questions like this, lovelovelove it).


my first thought was that i’d probably still be selling silpada designs jewelry if my mom was alive and so i’d likely order her something that she’d been eyeing.  she was after all my best and virtually only customer.  i stopped selling it after she passed because it made me too sad…one of our last conversations was her trying to convince me to renew my “membership” because she had so many more pieces she’d like to have.  needless to say, my big sister and i inherited a hell of a lot of sterling silver jewelry between the two of us.


next, i thought maybe i’d like to find something from avon to support a friend who’s starting her business…i was recently perusing the catalogs and there’s a lot more to avon than stinky perfumes and odd colored lipsticks—avon has definitely come up the ranks!  plus it’s fun to help out a friend by supporting her business.


and then i remembered that i was never very good at giving b-day gifts to my mom…they were always late or half-finished or more along the lines of “it’s the thought that counts” rather than an actual bona fide b-day gift.  i regret my thoughtlessness now, but even more i miss my mom…she always forgave me…she didn’t hold a grudge or hang it over my head.


i’m not sure i’m one who will love unconditionally if we have children.  if not, it certainly won’t be because i didn’t get it from my mom—that’s for sure!