i keep trying to write her birth story…i relive it all the time in my mind…and bask in the glow of all that goodness and wonder.  i try to talk about it and i do talk about it constantly, but still it’s lacking.

putting everything i’m feeling and our birth experience into words is impossible right now.  i’m so high on love and sweet newborn breath that i can’t find words for it all.  i don’t want to find words…words can be so limiting and this life altering experience is full of unimaginable, deep, deep love and fullness…it’s also full of grieving and tears and missing.

so.so.so.full.

one day i may write a post including the details, but for now, suffice it to say~

~experiencing my body and my baby working together to bring her into this world was simply…otherworldly (hypnobirthing all the way).

~i am amazed and in awe of all that my body continues to do for our baby and for me…providing hormones to give us the ultimate bonding experience, making milk to nourish her tiny little body…i feel humbled by this body’s abilities and so sorry for all the years i’ve spent hating it.  forgive me body.  i want to carry this gratitude with me for the rest of my life…

~i am more in love with my huz than ever…i’m sure the hormones have a hand in this as well…we just look at each other in awe.  today when i went back into our baby bear den after having a shower (our bedroom has been converted into baby central, which is where we spend all of our time…cozy, warm, private), i found my huz rocking our little one whom he’d dressed in this fluffy little white bear outfit while i was away…singing to her along with the beat.tles…i melted.  and started taking pictures!

there’s so much more, but this is all i can put down for now…this little one brings me unspeakable pleasure and contentment…and lots of diapers and everything else.

she’s magical and i’m head over heels in love.

Advertisements