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sadly, our little chica got her first cold this week.  it is so sad to hear her little sniffly nose as she’s eating and sleeping…and those sweet little sneezes!

this week i learned that she hates it when i suction her nose (but who wouldn’t?!).

i learned that she can have some very strange-looking and/or very brightly colored poops!

i was also reminded this week that i’m prone to paranoia and anxiety when it comes to my child’s health.  i was terrified that this was more than a cold and we would surely lose her.

and after this experience there’s no denying that i like to find someone to blame when hard things happen…my huz brought this bug home from work! or a friend brought it over and didn’t wash their hands well enough!  somebody made her sick and it wasn’t me!

…because i guess if it’s someone else’s fault then my worst fears won’t come true…that i’m a bad mom and it’ my fault that she’s sick for not protecting her better.

so, as you can tell i had a mini-meltdown earlier this week. 

then when we were at her two month well baby check the doctor said she was looking fabulous and that she wasn’t concerned about the virus passing thru okay, i calmed a bit.  i learned that licorice root is an anti viral that we can give her, hence her sweet little licorice lips…it’s so cute to watch her lap that up!  she’s also very cute when she’s licking her probiotic powder off my finger.  i’m so hoping that one day soon she can tolerate me having dairy again!

we also learned she’s weighing in at 10lbs 15oz…our little 2 month old chunk of love!

prometrium, anyone?

 

if you’re looking for a little (or a lot of) augmentation, i recommend taking 200mg of prometrium twice daily.  take this and you’ll be guaranteed quick, if not painless, results.

 

and all of this for a mere 25 bucks.

 

who could ask for more?  (and who would dare to ask for more—i’m telling you…do not ask for more…400mg/day is more than enough!)  so, whether or not it’s assisting my body in maintaining a healthy pregnancy, it’s certainly assisting me in augmentation.

 

no doubt about it.

…poked, that is.

 

i’ve decided not to do the usual preliminary blood work this time around…how did i come to this decision, you ask?

 

well, if you’ve been reading this blog for long you know that i’ve suffered three previous miscarriages.  if you’ve just tuned in, you can read more about my first miscarriage here.  my first miscarriage took me/us by surprise…more or less woke up bleeding one morning.  that experience set the ball rolling for blood tests and pokes and prods in my subsequent pregnancies/miscarriages.

 

i decided a couple of months ago that if i became pregnant again i didn’t want to go through the stress and headaches of rushing around to blood labs, not to mention the anxiety i feel having my arms poked—all in all, blood draws cause me stress. 

 

on top of this, for my second pregnancy the blood draws showed everything was progressing beautifully—my progesterone was at 28!—and, alas, when i was 6w2d the ultrasound showed the pregnancy was not viable.  all of that poking and the false security it provided turned me off….and pissed me off, too!

 

so, this time around i’ve decided to go about things the old fashioned way….to a point.  i won’t be having my blood work drawn—unless the high dose of progesterone suppositories i’m taking begin to make me feel too uncomfortable with symptoms.  in that case, i’m open to testing my progesterone level to see if i can back off a bit on the prometrium dosage.  otherwise, i’m going to try to hang in there until my seventh week.  dr. naturo told me that she’d order an ultrasound at that point if things seem to be progressing (ie i am still experiencing symptoms) and then we will be able to check for fetal tone at that point.

 

naturally, i’m even afraid to do an ultrasound…the last two times i’ve had an ultrasound to check for a heartbeat there hasn’t been one.  but i think if i haven’t miscarried by then (i know that sounds morbid, but after three i guess i’ve sadly come to expect it while still hoping against hope for the best) i will want to know if there’s a heartbeat.

 

the timing is a little bit rough, as that same week i’ll be flying out for two weeks with friends and family…….but i’m not going to think about all the what-if-there’s-no-heartbeat scenarios right now….or at least i’m not going to write about my thoughts about those scenarios right now!

 

so, here’s the breakdown in terms of my supplements and our plan moving forward:

 

daily–2000 iu vitamin d; 400 iu natural vitamin e; thorne prenatal vitamin; high dose of methylated folic acid; high dose vitamin b6; 200 mg prometrium suppository (morning and evening); begin weaning myself off of the pregnenalone i’ve been taking.

 

if this pregnancy is viable through the first trimester, i will also wean myself off of the methylated folic acid and b6.  i will continue to monitor my side effects/symptoms of the prometrium and if i become too uncomfortable will possibly go down to a lower dose if blood work showed a high enough level of progesterone in my blood.

 

i will check back with dr. naturo in two weeks…if things “seem” to be progressing (i.e. if i haven’t miscarried) we will schedule an ultrasound for the week of august 10th, which will be my 7th week if all goes well, to check for fetal tone.

 

in the meantime, i will continue working with my acupuncturist every two weeks or more, as needed.  my next appt is friday (note to self: remember camera!).

 

suffice it to say, i have to tell myself about a million times a day that i need to take it one day at a time.  that’s all i can do.  one foot in front of the other.  deep cleansing breaths.  supplements, healthy food (for the most part!), happy thoughts and lots of mario cart

 

the rest is out of my hands.

i’m in another feeding myself funk.  i know i should be feeding myself, nourishing my body…giving it a good chance at health and fertility.

 

but the thing is—i don’t want to feed myself these days.

 

i want to binge on sugar…see a couple of today’s examples below:

 carrot cakea friend’s 60th birthday cake…so sugary and so yummy

 

kettle-corn trader joe’s kettle corn…makes a great lunch

 

i’d include more pics of sugary delights, but i ate them all.

 

it’s bad.  but at least i’m still taking these:

 

vits and supps 

i keep hoping it will all even out in the end and i’ll be out of the feeding funk soon.  and until then……….i’m binging on sugar.

well, my naturopath–dr. naturo–prescribed for me the most expensive, non-insurance-covered vitamin i’ve ever bought or taken.  so expensive in the not-covered-by-the-insurance prescription world that my pharmacy actually questioned me to see if i still wanted to fill the script.

 

heck yeah, i want to fill that script!

 

i just about climbed over the counter to get them myself.  if 50 bucks a month is standing in the way of me and my ability to carry a baby to term, i’ll pay it!  hand those little blue pills over immediately or i’ll shoot!

 

i suppose i should back up…all this talk about a miracle vitamin probably has some of you skeptics out there thinking i’ve been suckered.  which in reality is entirely possible.

 

the thing is that in addition to being heterozygous for factor v leiden, i am also heterozygous for mthfr…lucky little ol’ mutated me!  for those of you who don’t know this lingo, factor v has to do with the clotty-ness of my blood…it’s potentially a little more willing to clot up than it should ideally be.  the mthfr mutation has to do with my body’s ability to absorb and make use of folic acid (which we all know is important when it comes to growing a baby).  neither of these conditions are clear-cut answers to the question of what’s going wrong with my reproductive system…but there are several theories and possible treatment options that may help in the hunt for my fertility.

 

treatment option 1: ignore them and just keep hoping a pregnancy will stick.  (i tried this already.  it didn’t stick.)

treatment option 2: ignore the mthfr mutation and just go for lovenox, which is a low molecular weight form of the blood thinner heparin (one shot bruise the size of a quarter in my stomach per day).

treatment option 3: scrap the bruises and go for the magic vitamin.

treatment option 4: take expensive blue pills (prescription strength methylated folic acid) and do the bruise routine upon conception.

 

drum roll, please!!!

 

my current treatment option: take expensive magic vitamin and skip the shots.

 

magic-pill

 

if i was homozygous (this means if i had two mutated copies of the gene) with the factor v maybe i’d be more into the shot option.  but i went down that bruised road a little ways…got myself a nice bruise and wracked up another miscarriage along the way.

 

no thanks.  for now i’ll take my pricey magic pills, which incidentally have “pal” printed on one side, and see what happens.